To-Do list for 2010

It is the New Year eve and I was wondering what I should do. All news channels prompted me to the idea of reviewing 2009 for myself. Thanks to my 1982 manufactured 256 Mb memory, I could hardly remember what I have done during first 10 months of 2009. Also I don’t want to feel depressed and miserable on the new year eve by thinking about what have I done in last 365 days. Hence I had to rule out this option without hesitation. I then turned to the internet for help and found New Year resolutions of few of my friends posted on FB. I have never made any resolutions on New Year eve, or any other eve for that matter. Also the idea of New Year resolution is always associated with laughter and futility. But still, I have decided to make my resolutions for this year. Wish me good luck on my maiden endeavour in this regard. Here is my Laundry list of things to do in 2010…

1. To take bath daily and if possible in the morning.

This resolution is dedicated to my family. Although for someone, taking shower everyday may have a selfish motive of making him feel fresh while for others it might be an automatic process arising out of a lifelong practised habit, I would term it as a narcissistic act which results into giving goose bumps to the people around me when they look at the freshness, glow, confidence and exuberance of my bathed and haloed physical existence in the morning. But since my mom and dad insist on me dumping this Mother Teressa attitude towards my colleagues in the college, I am going to be the centre of attention of everyone in the class and let other guys suffer from the inferiority complex of realising to be ugly morons. Let me make it clear that I still don’t buy the ‘Save us from your body odour’ argument of my detractors. I firmly believe in the effectiveness of my deodorant.

2. To put on some weight.

Since it is now certain that once I start working, I will not be staying in Mumbai, I hope to put on some weight. Since from my childhood, I wanted to work in Mumbai. Owing to this fact, in a manifestation of control of my mind over body, ditto to the skyscrapers in Mumbai, my body grew much in the vertical dimension only, so that I could occupy least possible floor space when I am jostling for space in the overcrowded local trains of Mumbai. But now I can allow my tall and thin structure to expand horizontally and transform myself into a more rounded personality. In this regard, the New Year has begun in the right direction. I have already begun my eating spree at home with lots of sweets, ghee and yummy stuff.

3. Not to sleep in the class.

This will require me to get addicted to stimulants such as tea and coffee. Also the success in obeying this resolution is partially dependent on success in following the first item in this list. Although I am still sceptical about what will I gain out of it, it will at least result in my more well-mannered and cordial social behaviour by preventing my alleged occasional snoring in the class.

4. Be punctual at every place, whenever the situation demands.

The first draft of this list had only main clause of this resolution. However, while reviewing the list, I was compelled to attach a qualifier in the form of subordinate clause because I stay in India. How can I afford to miss out on the ego boost feelings of watching other dependent and helpless people wait for me at special occasions such as group meetings, marriages, movies and even dates? Not to mention the obvious benefits of being late for the classes.

5. Study for the last trimester of my MBA.

This is quite important for me as the last trimester will be my last chance to find out answer for the million dollar question ‘what do I learn during my MBA’. Also having just 3 instead of usual 7-8 subjects to study should not lead to me cutting down on my extra curricular (read surfing on the net) and socialising activities (read attending booze parties). Also last five trimesters have given me enough self confidence about my abilities as the last minute manager (thanks to my indulgence in procrastination and Jugaad skills).Now let me go after the classical (read stereotype) skills taught in a B-school.

6. Read at least one book every month (including text books).

The clause mentioned in the bracket is to ensure that the resolution is not quixotic but practically useful and realistic to achieve.

7. Work hard once I start doing my job (especially when the boss is around).

Please refer the above resolution for justification of the bracketed part.

8. Be positive and satisfied about life rather than cynical and cribbing.

It is a sermon which I have been listening and reading for ages from so many sources. So I want to give it a shot. But I am clueless about how to do it. One of my friends suggested that in every situation I should look at how much is gained, available and achieved every time. That will make me feel happy. The only exception being my marks scored in the exams. Also what if I turn into a complacent person? Oh Shit, no more cynicism.

9. Don’t try to figure out any woman and waste my time.

In my existence of over quarter of century on mother earth, no one could succeed in making me believe in God. But the so called fairer sex has made me believe that the world in not fair enough. If I have to accept the hypothesis that the computers are modelled to simulate the human brain then I would say that the Windows operating systems are inspired by the female brains. It is inefficient and unreliable yet every man is hooked onto it. All my attempts to decipher them further have met with little success. Hence I share my wisdom with you through this resolution. Trust me guys, Casanova is a myth than a reality!

10. Remind myself of these resolutions everyday.

OK, I accept that it is a clichéd line. Every damn list of rules now days has this corny line in the end. Since we are entering into 2010, I must have a list of 10 things to do. But even after being over critical of myself, I could not find many areas of self improvement. Hence this resolution for the sake of completing the list of 10 things.

So now, let me stop my inaugural blabbering of 2010. Wish u all a Very Happy New year!