Thursday, November 26, 2009

First Anniversary of 26/11

Today is 26/11/2009, the First anniversary of horrific terrorist attacks in Mumbai. Last year, on the same day, 10 terrorists from Pakistan landed in Mumbai via sea route and went on to massacre 166 people, taking hostage and injuring many more and bringing the whole country to a stand still before being gunned down in a 60 hour long battle with security forces. Fortunately one of the terrorist, Kasab was captured alive and is now under trial. From last one week, the media was generating momentum for this special occasion by broadcasting special programmes on TV, printing special issues of current affairs magazines and publishing numerous articles in newspapers. Today, many special events have been organised to mark this occasion. I am being convinced that the candle light marches featuring celebrities, prayer meetings, photo exhibitions, police parades, musical events, posters and wreaths laid around the Mumbai city have all been done to pay homage to the martyrs, express gratitude towards those who fought against the evil forces and to salute the spirit and resilience of Mumbaikers. Instead of making my heart bleed for those victims, I am enraged after watching all this. I hate this celebration of sadness and grief. I don’t understand what is achieved by such so called symbolic gestures of tribute and solidarity. I don’t know what does the heart wrecking portrayal of tragedy, personal losses, sorrow, blood and fire in media accomplish for the society. But what I do know is that it does improve TRP of news channels, bring back Page 3 and bollywood celebrities facing oblivion into limelight, leads to more circulation of print media, creates avenues for event management, advertising and PR firms to make money and gives a chance for two top notch five star hotels of Mumbai to give full page advertisements to build their brand image in the name of symbolic gesture of homage and gratitude. The tried and tested formula of 'Suffering Sells' is being repeated again.

In the process we all ignore what we choose to ignore. We ignore that our cities are still as vulnerable to massive terrorist attacks as they were one year back. We ignore that our politicians only provide sound bites for media by making hollow claims about our preparedness to deal with such attacks in future. We ignore that you, me and more than one billion Indians still don’t report suspicious activities in our neighbourhood to police. We ignore the helplessness of the average Mumbaikar and his fear for death while annoying him with accolades for his so called resilience and courage to live. We still believe that our corrupt and inefficient judicial system will punish the accused by next year. And even if Kasab is handed over capital punishment, we still believe our impotent government to send him to gallows when parliament attack accused Afzal Guru is still alive. We forget how our security forces were caught completely off the guard and were acting in total disarray while fighting terrorists one year back. We forget the failure of our diplomacy in putting pressure on Pakistan to dismantle terrorist network on its soil. We forget that our coastline and borders with neighbours such as Bangladesh are as porous as they were before. We forget that slain ATS chief chose to jump into the battlefield with his troops rather than coordinating and strategising movement of them in the battle. We forgive our under staffed and over worked intelligence agencies for failure to prevent the attack. We forgive the top police officials for not following standard operating procedure in dealing with the crisis. Instead what we choose to do is celebrate our tragedy !

Monday, October 19, 2009

Personality types found in B school

A typical so called decent MBA college in India is an eclectic collection of people from all parts of India. There are few international participants also garnishing the platter on sides. Such a diverse collection of students not only differ in terms of their preferences about food, drinks, clothes, languages and festivals, they also have quite distinct personalities and attitude towards studies and extra curricular activities. Here are some prominent personality types which I have seen in my institute. This psychographic classification is based on my random observations, has no correlation with the regional origins of students and is definitely not exhaustive. I am making my little contribution to the already vast collection of blogs, books and magazine articles which talk about MBA students at lengths. So here I go…

•Grade hungry crammers: These are people who are obsessed about grades. Although I totally agree that grades are important and good grades never hurt anyone, this bunch of people takes it to altogether different level. You will find these bookworms talking about studies all the time. Some of them try to show it off to impress others. But they are stumped when faced with questions out of the textbooks. Their face is an indication of their current CGPA. They get depressed even if they score low in a tiny winy quiz. Rather than gaining knowledge their purpose of studying and working on projects is to get high grades. They will make sure that they do not pursue those kinds of studies which do not carry any marks for a particular subject. They are most compatible with selfish slaves.

•Selfish slaves: In medieval times, slavery was thrust upon helpless victims who were paying for the debts of their parents. However in modern 21st century, cunning selfish souls submissively volunteer themselves to engage in flattery of their masters to fulfil their different academic and non academic pursuits in an MBA institution. Most of them lack their own independent existence and are seen as shadows accompanying their masters. Some of them are shrewd enough to solicit different masters at varying points of time to be in the company of best one. However, I feel that such a person ends up fulfilling his/her short term goals at the cost of long term goals. One day destiny will force them to stand on their own feet and they will collapse if their feet are infirm.

•Intellectual dumb asses: Some people tend to overestimate the grey matter in their heads. They tend to think of themselves as the highly intellectual people who know anything and everything on the earth. For them MBA gyan is something obvious and does not pose any challenge to their intellect. They love to flaunt about whatever little they know. For them ignorance is definitely not a bliss and they have honed the skills of maintaining deceptive appearances to perfection. They are always looking for peopel who will pamper their egoes. The initial part of the oxymoronic term used to describe such people is their public self and the later part is their private self. In reality they are the empty vessels which make the most noise.

•Cynical cribbers: These people are the quintessential roadblocks in any work. They love to crib, doubt, critique and protest. They won’t take any initiative and will not contribute in any work. They will always stand on the sidelines and pass cynical and discouraging remarks. They firmly believe that there is always scope for improvement. For them, everything around them is either useless, flawed or irrelavent. However they won’t do anything to improve it and when challenged to do so, they would provide all sorts of lame excuses and shy away from the task. I doubt even if they are suitable for the job of Corporate Cassandras in companies.

•Indifferent Aliens: Looking at some people I always wonder why are they doing MBA. Neither they are aware nor do they care about academic and other activities on the campus. Grades obviously do not matter to them. Hence threats of sub grading do not force them to attend the classes. They believe that fortune favours the brave and hence challenge their fate by sitting for whatever classes they attend without any preparation. They are total free riders when it comes to group work. They want to follow the path of least resistance and will opt for all the easy go electives. However unlike cynical cribbers, they are the harmless creatures who will not critique others.

Disclaimer: I am certainly not the best student of my MBA institute in anyway. This post is not written to preach anything. I do not intend to offend anyone by this post. It is written in lighter vein and please take it in the right spirit.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Great Indian Railways Journey

In last 5 years I have traveled many times by train and most of the times it’s been long journeys stretching to 18-20 hrs at least. I have heard many people complaining about the poor services of the Indian railways in terms of extraordinary yet frequent delays of 6 to 8 hrs, overcrowded trains, unhygienic food, beggars and eunuchs annoying passengers, dirty stations and disgusting toilets. But luckily I was spared of all these miseries till now. So on 29th Sep 09, with a confirmed second class sleeper ticket in my hand I went to the Aurangabad railway station to catch Sachkhand Express to return to Delhi for my fifth semester. Some of my friends had suggested me many times before that traveling by second class for a 24 hrs journey can seriously screw up the whole journey. But I had always rejected it by calling them as squeamish and snobbish people. I had sweet memories of so many previous journeys to bank upon. But my entire dream run on Indian railways was set to get severally jolted on that fateful day. The moment I entered the station, I heard a female announcing in her monotonous voice that the train is delayed by 1 hour. The announcement was getting repeated in English, Hindi and Marathi and I hated myself for knowing all the three languages. I was getting irritated now. Add to this the fact that I had to hastily pack up all my stuff and get ready to reach the station to catch the train on time. After one hour, the same voice cracked through the speaker announcing a further delay of one hour. By now my chatter with mom and dad was coming to a halt. Everyone was getting bored. I already had two cups of tea gulped down to kill the time. Once again the same announcement of one more hour delay was made. But this time, the same lady added a personal touch to the announcement and apologized for the delay. The implied meaning was that you deserve an apology from the Indian Railways only if the train is delayed by at least 3 hours. So instead of soothing my nerves it caused inflammation in my heart. I was totally pissed off now.
Finally the train arrived after a delay of three and half hours. As it was coming to halt, I got reminded of Mumbai locals. All the bogies were jam packed with people, most of them Sikh pilgrims returning to their homes in Punjab after Dasera celebration at Nanded. I saw my coach door closed and started knocking heavily with my fist. But no one opened it. Now I saw the other door of the coach getting opened and I ran towards it. As I was entering through the door, a couple of people started pushing me out and were yelling in Punjabi. So I lost my temper, pushed them back and forced my way through the crowd. When I reached my seat, I saw7-8 Punjabi budhiyas sitting in the compartment and an old man sleeping on my upper berth. I took a deep breath and mentally prepared myself for the anticipated ugly brawl with them. But I told them in a calm and firm voice that I have a seat reserved over here. Before I could finish speaking, 3-4 ladies started yelling on me and were asking me to leave the damn train itself. I raised my voice and started screaming that I will not move from here come what may. I could see my dad standing outside the train trying to convince the ladies from the window to allow me to sit at my place. Then a huge well built young man came and asked me to show the ticket. Suddenly he tried to snatch it from my hand. In the midst of this chaos, I saw my mom and she was sobbing. I tried to put a brave face and told my parents that they need not worry at all and I will get my seat anyhow. But I was also worried and clueless about how will I do that. Looking at print out of my internet booked ticket, one lady raised the doubt that it’s a bogus ticket. For a moment, I couldn’t figure out whether I should laugh on her ignorance or should cry about my ordeal. When the train started moving, the commotion in and out of train rose to the highest level. Hell broke down and the train got flooded with people. I was hit 2-3 times by waves of people crushing on me.
At last God came to rescue me in the form of a man who was holding a list of seats booked for the so called yatrionka jattha (group of pilgrims). He came, patted on my shoulder and told everyone that this guy has a seat reserved here and we need to somehow accommodate him. I was so relieved to hear that. I thanked him with a big grin on my face. I politely asked the man sleeping on my berth to get down once again. He climbed down reluctantly and I jumped on my berth in a flash. But half of my berth was occupied by the luggage of others. I did not dare to ask them to move the luggage and tried to sleep on the other half by folding my legs and hands as much as I can. Below me, I could see people sitting and sleeping all over the place in a snugly fit manner. Every inch of possible space was being used. Sleeping babies and luggage were stuffed together on the side upper berths. In the middle of it all, the market in the train was still running in full swing. The tea vendors, samosa and vada sellers were still venturing in the train and making big money. However, not a single TC came to my seat in the entire journey. There was non stop chatter in the train. Some one was busy eating langar meals, someone was playing cards for time pass, some one was trying to cajole the kid to stop crying by offering him biscuits and a lot of them were singing the bhajans praising the almighty waheguru. As the night fall down, tired passengers started making arrangements for sleeping. When I saw the old ladies in my compartment struggling with the middle berth seat chains, I jumped down and helped them with it. I also moved their luggage below the seats. Surprisingly it worked wonders for me. I could see the old ladies smiling in a gesture to thank me. One of them started a general traveler’s type conversation with me. She was talking in Punjabi and I was replying in Hindi. I am sure both of us were able to understand very little of it. But the gesture of empathy and respect was more important. But still I did not want to take any chances and hence told her that I am a soldier working in the army :). Another lady then started moving her luggage from my berth and I was so happy to see my entire empty berth. I jumped back on it and slept like a dead wood for the next 12 hours.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Cribbing all the way

Ohh..its been so long since I have blogged..The thought of blogging crossed my mind so many times in last one month. But I did not get motivated enough to start translating my thoughts into the words of a blog post. Or did I find my thoughts not worthy enough to be posted here. Were they just crappy feelings popping up randomly? Life has become kind of dull and stagnant. It has become similar to the chicken trend in the share market where the stocks are neither rising nor crashing down. The same boring college stuff keeps on happening randomly. After three trimesters of first year, hardly anything excites me in academic life. It’s the ‘been there and done that’ feeling that has fully occupied mind space. If I try to infuse some enthusiasm into my lethargic mind, the hormones of cynicism flush out the fluids of ecstasy in a jiffy. A feeling of void and lack of purpose has been building for some time. It’s been almost 2 and half months since my fourth trimester has begun and the water stagnated in the pond has now started stinking. The obnoxious smell has now spread to such an extent that my numb nasal sensations have to take notice of that. The ultimate optimistic side of me keeps on telling me that this too will pass and one day I will do great in my life. But am I becoming complacent with theses feelings? I don’t know. My mind just keeps on drifting anywhere and everywhere.
I need to seriously shake up myself! Well before the placement season kicks off. I need to study well, even if my fourth semester marks no longer affect placement. Do I need a break? Or am I enjoying break for so long that I need to get back to working? Shall I start praying to the God when I doubt his existence itself? Do I need a pedantic, regimented life style? But will it account for randomness in an MBA student’s life? I am confused.
But one thing which I am quite sure about me is that I need to stop cribbing so much. Hopefully this is my last blog post about cribbing, at least till my course gets over .Wish me good luck guys!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Memories of Bangalore

It’s been one year since I left Bangalore and been in Delhi. However I still miss Bangalore every now and then. It’s really strange that I have these feelings now as I used to complain a lot about the city when I was living there. Although I have always considered that Pune is the best city for me to live and settle down, the three years which I spent in Bangalore while working in an IT company, have created a lasting impression on my mind and gifted me with some wonderful memories which I will cherish forever. However in hindsight, I can see that Bangalore came into my life as a rude shock. After joining TCS as a fresh engineering grad, I had fantastic 2 month induction programme at Thiruvananthapuram. I had great time there, roaming around the place and watching the splendid natural beauty of God’s own country. But one day, all of sudden, our batch was summoned to assemble in a hall and each one was told about his/her posting location by HR, without asking for our preferences. Everyone was thrown out of their comfort zones and was left feeling like a fish out of water. Only a handful of people were lucky to get location of their choice. Unfortunately I was not one of them. I was clearly disappointed to know that I have been kicked to Bangalore.

As a youngster born and brought up in Maharashtra, I had many preconceived scary notions about south Indian cities with regard to food, weather, language, costumes blah blah. However, Bangalore proved them to be wrong. The city has a pleasant and salubrious weather throughout the year. This green city of gardens and parks receives rains for almost half of the year and its always a drizzle through the day J. The mercury hovers between 20 and 35 Degrees C. If you are in Bangalore, be assured that you will never get parched in hot and dry summer sun. Also you will not be frozen to death in chilly winter days. After getting royally pampered by awesome weather of Bangalore for 3 years, I am struggling hard to adjust myself to extreme weather conditions in Delhi.

The best thing which happened to me in Bangalore is my room mates, a bunch of 5 guys who became my best buddies for life and with whom I had superb time there. Each one of them being different and special to me. Let me talk about them here. Let me begin with Jatin. He was an odd ball amongst us. A typical Delhi guy who was not an engineer and who did not understand Marathi. Poor fellow used to get irritated a lot when rest of us used to talk in Marathi. I would say he tried to come across as a strong and tough guy. But I always knew that like a coconut, he appears tough from outside but is actually tender and vulnerable from inside. He is a straight talking, no nonsense guy who has always been warm and friendly with me. He always has plans for his life and he makes sure that they come true. Contrary to the predictions made by our so called astrologer friend Tushar, he got married this year itself. He was the only non drinking guy amongst us who still used to accompany us on binge drink parties for the sheer pleasure of watching drunkards in the act J .

Bangalore transformed me from an occasional drinker into a connoisseur. The city deserves to be declared not only the IT capital but also the boozing capital of India. No where else will you find so many watering holes mushroomed all over the city. The young IT and BPO crowd who wants to relax and unwind themselves on weekend after slogging their butts off in the office on weekdays has led to opening of so many pubs and discos across the city. The brigade road, M.G. Road and Koramangala are the favourite hang out destinations for these youngsters. I have explored the city in search of new drinking venues several times. Going for drinks on every Friday night was kind of my hobby in Bangalore and waiting for the next weekend was my favourite time pass thereJ. I have been to almost every boozing spot in and around Brigade road. Be it The Pub World, NASA, Stykes, Night watchman, Hard rock café, Mojo, Flames or Purple Haze. Now this indulgence did come with its own price. It used to create a deep hole in my pocket when I used to pay my credit card bills every month. But I was a careless young chap then who used to get a decent pay in the hay days of IT industry and was ready to splurge all my money.

When it comes to boozing in Bangalore, I have to talk about Subhash, the leading tippler of our groupJ. Whenever you are with this guy, you will never get bored. This quintessential Kolhapuri Marathi Manoos with his characteristic humour and language has made a big transformation within him. In his journey from junk stuff working techie sitting in the corner cubicle of an IT company to the Mechanics lab of IIT, he has not only changed his profession but also his personality, habits and even his drinking acts. He is now restraining himself from not indulging into drinking more than once in a month or so. That is unbelievable for me! But as you know old habits die hard. So even now whenever we are having drinks together, we discussion gets carried away to the topic of women. We talk a lot about them, from the college crushes to the Bollywood heartthrobs, no one is spared! I still remember our silly argument about who would be a better wife? Madhuri or Urmila J . I don’t know how and when we started calling him Bhava (Bro! in Marathi), but he deserves to be called so !

The only guy in our group who had a girl in his life before coming to Bangalore was Idris. Well he had found the love of his life and we all have been witness to his Pyaar ke side effects, from the round about trips to Akola via Pune and huge cell phone bills despite subscribing to all schemes, we have seen it all. This guy has potential to shock and surprise you every time with his ideas. He will demonstrate his extraordinary genius with a superb idea now and then spoil it all with an equally dumb one in the next moment. He lives his life on his own terms and makes the most of every moment. He is always there to help you if you are lucky to have a friend like him J.

My first lessons in managing customers began well before I joined MBA course and my tutor was the tiffin guy in Bangalore, Mr. Arjun. He always had a smile on his face, never lost his temper and would do sweet talking to cajole us to make advance payments every month. He always used to employ his out of the box thinking to come up with very imaginative yet realistic excuses to cover serious lapses in his service. He would never miss on a single opportunity to make money. He was the carpenter, electrician, plumber and painter, all packed in one. The ultimate solution provider to all your house keeping problems !

Along with Jatin, Swapnil was the other member of Sarna House who was in my batch of ILP (Initial Learning Programme) of TCS in Thiruvananthapuram. Within a couple of weeks of ILP, we had become fast friends. We always use to go out together for eating, shopping, movies etc etc. He is a smart and hardworking guy who was more disciplined among Sarna house members. Not to mention his cooking skills. You got to eat poha and tea made by him in the breakfast to believe me. I still remember that in one of ice breaking sessions, he had introduced himself as Samajhdar Swapnil. He is just like that! But as they say men will always be men and this guy is also no exception. When it comes to Females, his intelligent mind is overtaken by emotional heart and he can do all stupid things in lifeJ. For example, he has changed his look forever from the day when one of the eye candy teachers in ILP complemented him about his French cut beard look. Now the complement has becomes more than 4 years old, but the beard still stays on meticulously carved out and well maintained J .

There are lots of tourist destinations and weekend trip spots near Bangalore. I have seen some of them like Mysore, Coorg, Udupi etc. But the biggest of them all , at 10 hours road journey distance is Goa ! It is famous for wine and sea. But I was fascinated by the calm, soothing, laid back life in Goa which helps you get rid of all your tensions and worries in life. Go for walk on the beach in the morning and evening, have Goan food delicacies for lunch, enjoy water sports during the day and go to the disco at night. Not to forget, drinking whiskey and beer every now and then. What a life that was! We were staying on a secluded beach, Vagatur Beach, far from the crowded ones, with an old fort nearby and lot of hippie whites around us. While strolling through small lanes of nearby market in the evening, I could see them playing guitar and singing songs, having beer and smoking grass, gambling to test their luck with slot machines and playing cards. Goa provides you an awesome experience, next to achieving nirvana J. Ask me any day for Goa and I would come jumping all over !

In Sarna House, there was a bat that would be awake till late night watching movies on TV, even if its 100th repeat telecast. His name is Tushar. A brainy and lazy bump, who have varied interests such as Astrology, Films, cricket blah blah. I chose to call him bat for one more reason, which is his fetish for black colour clothes. I have went for shopping with him so many times and have always seen him buying Jeans and T shirts with shades of black and gray. I know him from my engineering college days. He is a nice, warm, sensitive and friendly guy. He is ambitious and confident of himself. He is quite serious and committed to the work. It might take some time for you to be friend with him. But once the bond is in place, it will last forever. During my last six months in Bangalore, We used to go for drinks almost every weekend to nearby Goguras and Madhuri Grand hotels. There we used to discuss anything and everything under the sun. Not only our hotels but our orders were also kind of fixed, either whisky or vodka with masala peanuts and finger chips. What a great time we had together in those days!

Now you might be thinking that I am so much smitten with Bangalore that I seem to perceive it as the perfect city of an ideal world. But that is not the case. Not everything is hunky dory over there. The city’s infrastructure is inadequate and not able to cope up with its exponential growth. The biggest issue is of traffic. Once you get stuck in a jam, you don’t have any other option but to pray to god to clear it soon. There are no alternate roads. The public transport is also not good enough. It’s ironic that the city which has flourished due to growth of service sector industry, gives you extremely poor services. Auto drivers are very adamant and rude. They will charge you extra fares anytime. If you go to a hotel , you will be at the mercy of waiter to take and bring your order and there is no use of protesting about delays and food quality.

Pheww..This is the longest blog post I have written so far, consisting of almost 2000 words. If you happen to read it till here, you might have been bored and pissed off…or you may have like it (am I being over optimistic ?). Whatever it is, just let me know. Let me stop testing your patience further and stop it here…Byee!

P.S: Well, I have not written abt the place and people with whom I spent my maximum time in Bangalore. The place is my Office there in Whitefield and the people are my office friends Pradeep, Sumesh, Sindhu, Hari and Kishore. All of us had joined the same project as freshers at the beginning of the project itself. During first few months, we were all trained in CAD/CAM and later put into different work groups. But there was always the common thread joining us together. And yeah, as rightly mentioned by Pradeep in the comment, I spent the maxium amount of time with him in the project. This guy, with a smile on his face, is a chatter box who can do non stop bakaar all the time. But he really makes you feel comfortable with him. Thanks to him, I used to take atleast 3-4 smoking breaks in a day even without lighting a single cigarette in office :) He is a funny and humorus guy. But, at the same time he takes his work seriously. We had amazing work co-ordination between ourselves. Many times we have seen movies together by bunking office after lunch. But then, a lot more times, we have also slogged through nights to complete project deliveries . I am lucky that from my Bangalore connexion team, along with Subhash and Jatin, Pardya (aka Pradeep) is also there in Delhi. Looking forward to meet you soon buddy !

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Oh my Sweetheart

She is the sexy dusky skinned well endowed smart looking whore standing on the roadside. Truly professional, she is ready to go with anyone who can pay her price. She dresses well with bright colours like green and blue and her clothes are often embellished with silver and golden frills at the top or bottom. Every time I pass her, she always seems to entice me with her inviting eyes. I first met her when I was in my engineering college. It was an unexpected encounter when my friend introduced me to her in the broad day light afternoon. It all started off with a casual hook up. When she first kissed me, I hated her. But as time passed, we started meeting often. I being a reluctant young boy then tried to act as a hard person to win over. But she being an expert lured me into falling in her trap. Every time when I am depressed, when I am jubilant or I am just getting bored, I dream of her with a naughty suggestive smile on her face and her open arms eager to hug me.

She is smooth and seductive. Her touch is sensual and her kiss is so moving. When I am lying in her arms, she makes me forget my worries, relieves me of all stress, liberates me from the melancholy, morbidity and mundanity of life, makes me laugh and then I sleep like a 2 year old baby holding her tight. She is strange. Every time I do it with her, she reminds me of my lost love even when she is caressing my heart and seducing my mind. She is submissive and shy in the beginning, but as the passions reach pinnacle, she becomes wild and takes control of me. She is insatiable. She consumes me completely and still craves for more of me. She is bitchy and audacious. She is promiscuous and flirtatious. She plays games with my friends even when I am holding her hand in a party. She sometimes embarrasses me with her tricks. She fancies of group orgy with many mates and is jealous of other hookers. Sometimes I hate her, sometimes I love her. But the fact remains that I can't live without her. The next day morning, when I wake up, when the carnal desires have vanished in the morning light and the lust has given way to love, I want to hold her hand with mine. But the whore is already gone, leaving me alone sulking deep inside!

People call her bottle of whisky, vodka, rum or wine. I simply call her sweetheart !

P.S. This post is written without consuming alcohol at all :D

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Lessons from Corporate World

If you are working or you wish to work in the corporate world in future, here are some tips for your success or atleast survival :

First of all, remember that you are a smart ass.You are highly intelligent and knowledgeable person. Saying 'I don't know' is a taboo.
Most importantly you are always busy...nope..extremely least you have to pretend to be very busy. If you are easily accessible to your juniors, you don't deserve your job.
You always drink your coffee in your cubicle. That makes others realize that you are busy.
You are always working on critical and confidential projects.
You should not provide clear , detailed instructions to your juniors. That makes his task less challenging (easier in other words) and devoid him of freedom of thought and actions.
You should be attending lot of meetings. At least four a day. If you don't get sufficient meeting invites in a day, you arrange a meeting yourself. Unplanned meetings always catch attention of others and invites for the same are always precious. Meetings are always to be held in meeting rooms only. Sitting in the cubicle and discussing does not meet the corporate world meeting standards.
Global gyan is a virtue to possess and practised but should not be preached i.e. you should always discourage others from practicing it.
You are always expected to address your boss as "Mr. boss". That is a sign of respect (and a way for pampering his ego).
At least one excel sheet and one ppt should always be open on your laptop. If you are still using a desktop, you are fooling yourself (you are not the corporate guy ).
You should be getting at least 50 mails in a day. If you don't, you are facing the challenge of oblivion.
You should be really good at multi tasking. You should always take your calls while working on your system.
You ask your junior to work only when it is a super urgent task with tight deadlines. Such work pressure helps you to keep him on his toes and improve his efficiency. After all deadlines are called so because they are supposed to make someone dead if he misses it.
Appreciation is the fundamental right of your superiors and a highly sought after incentive for your juniors. Make sure that your appreciations are always based on this discretion.
The thumb rule says that in the morning, the least important person in the office should be the first one to enter it. The more late you can afford to come, more important you are.
This rule is simply turned upside down when it comes to leaving the office. If you don't work till late night, your commitment to work is questionable. Your stay in office is considered to be directly proportional to the amount of work you do, as your efficiency is always super high.
Don't forget that you are expected to be working 24X7. You also need to make sure that your juniors also work 24X7. If you can't assure that, you are not fit to be the manager.
Cynicism and criticism are essential qualities of successful corporate person. After all only experts can find out flaws.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

MBA so far

I am almost through half of my MBA course as my third trimester is coming to an end. From last few days one thought has been haunting me like never before. I don't know how to express it most effectively. Anyways, here it is ..
When I came here to do MBA, I was expecting that I would experience a tiring and thoroughly satisfying Intellectual Orgasm in doing this course. However I have realised that forget about the orgasm, I am not even feeling the erection out of it ! The global meltdown and bleak, uncertain future frustrates me more. And when I think about it, I could blame myself more than anything else for this state of affairs !
Earlier I had heard many stories of MBA students slogging day and night in their libraries and hostel rooms finishing assignments and working on presentations. But my own experience has been quite contradictory. Here I am keeping my self busy by indulging in many activities apart from/other than study.
My laptop has become my sweetheart here and like a mother of a new born baby I cant keep it away from myself for long time. I almost feel like crying if it stops working. But what am I doing on my laptop?? Here is the laundry list..
The top most item on the list is Music. My laptop has helped me to transform my interest in music into a passion. Thanks to 24X7 wi-fi net access, I am downloading all kinds of songs from bhoole bisare geet of binaka geetmala days to current English chart busters.
Next comes Films. Although I was never a movie buff and I still watch less movies compared to my friends over here, its relatively quite high compared to my earlier life.
Although my real life socializing has declined significantly after coming to Delhi, it has been more than compensated by my virtual life socialising.Be it Gtalk, Yahoo msngr or orkut. They never let me feel lonely and I spend many hours chatting.
Last but not the least is my newly found addiction. It has overtaken me completely. Its the high I get out of blogging. Defying candid opinions of my friends about my blog being mediocre and boring, I keep on posting my entries. Try to attract eyeballs by adding pics and other gadgets and attempt to accidentally direct someone to my blog site by promoting it through unsolicited mails, status msgs etc. But can you really blame a guy who is inebriated due to addiction. However I am sure than I am not the only one hooked onto blogging. there are thousands others like me in this virtual world.
And what about reading online newspapers, journals, tracking sensex, preparing reports and ppts? Well those are the activities for the stereotype MBA students. Mavericks and rebels like me don't indulge myself in those morbid and mundane activities. I always rely on my self proclaimed high productivity, my extraordinary and time tested Jugaad skills and natural ability to do nonstop bakar.
Now lets return back to the real world.
Alec smart once said that most of the innovations in this world have been made by intelligent and lazy people . On this basis, I think of myself as an innovative person. However, my friends turned critics don't agree with me completely. They are not sure whether I possess the first attribute but are quite sure about the second one. They corroborate it by saying that I am a dirty bump owing to my seldom washed clothed, my bathing on alternate days and once in a week shaving schedule. But they fail to understand that I am making a style statement here. That I am a rough, rustic and austere guy. I am saving water and electricity by bathing less frequently. Besides washing clothes several times make them look old and leads to colour fading. Now some people compare my room to a garbage dump yard as my clothes and books are spread all over the place. My cup board and drawers are over flowing and the newspapers are lying all over (although I rarely read them). But such a random, non regimented and flexible system is more stable, convenient for user and keeps everything at same accessibility.
That's all for tonight. I have had enough of blogging for the day. Its 1:30am and I have to start reading for 2 quizzes on 2moro. Wish me good luck. Byeee :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Random Ramblings

You are holding me with my arm and we are walking on the busy street..
In between I look at you and you look at me.
You smile with a blush and I stare you again.
Your eyes are beautiful and there is no pain.
Your skin is smooth and your lips are tender.
Your face is cute and your hands are silver.
You dress simple and yet look like an angel.

We cross the road and I buy you an ice cream.
You always order butterscotch which is favorite of mine.
I mess up my ice cream and you wonder every time.

We stroll into a park and see the kids playing around.
You kiss and hug a baby crawling on the lawn.
The baby smiles and you are happier now.

You tell me so many things about your life, but that goes in vain.
Because I listen to your voice and not what words you explain.
You giggle when you come to know all I done as insane.
And now you hold me again.

I move close to you body and look into your eyes.
I remove your hair band and play with your hair.
I hold your face in my hands and your heart starts beating fast.
You tell me something in my ear and I close my eyes.
you now quietly disappear from around.
Suddenly I get a feeling of deja vu in my mind.
I hear Justin Timberlake saying in the background
"What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around ".

Friday, January 16, 2009

Slumdog Millionaire is awesome !

The heightened interest of westren world in India is manifested by many films made recently by several western and NRI directors with themes based on Indians. Slumdog Millionaire is the latest one in this series. It is based on the book 'Q & A' written by Indian diplomat Vikas Swaroop. Since I have not read the book, I can not comment on whether the director, Danny Boyle has been successful in accurately translating the book into film or which one of the two is better. But Kudos to Danny Boyle for creating an awesome film ! True to his reputation, the film has been directed exceptionally well. It is a story of an impoverished slum youngster, Jamal winning on the tv show 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'. With each question of the quiz, the story takes you to different incidents of his life which have helped him to answer questions correctly. However this extraordinary success on the game show lands Jamal into trouble with suspicions

of cheating in the game. Anyways, some scenes of the film touch your heart and make you realize and appreciate what a struggle it is to live life for such children from slums. But you never feel pity about it and believe in the strength and courage of characters to handle all situations. The film has a fast paced story line and a bit of humour sprinkled in between. The performances of all artists are amazing especially the kids have done a brilliant job. No surprise that the film has won 4 Grammy awards and 10 BAFTA nominations so far !
The other films which I have seen recently include Australia, The man from earth and Taxi driver. On a scale of 1 to 5, I would rate them as 3, 4 and 2 respectively.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Annual perdiction: Movie time

If the first few days of 2009 are any indications of the future and specifically rest of the year, I would say I have become a couch potato (bed potato in my case) watching movies one after the other for endless time. With the economic slowdown, I guess, its natural for a person to indulge in reel world and get rid of tensions of real world. Anyways, my movie watching spree began at the end of 2008 with Ghazini, one of the most awaited and talked about movie of 2008. But the movie did not meet my expectations. I would say its a bad copy of the cult film 'Memento'.
For me it was a long movie with over stretched end with lots of crying and shouting in between. In Memento, the director has been able to turn a nonsensical story line into an extra ordinary fiction with the idea of shooting the film in reverse chronological order. That keeps the viewer engaged till end. However, Ghazini lacks this quality. It seems the director was in a dilemma as to whether he should make a total romantic or an all out action movie. In trying to conjure both, he made a film with distinctive patches of romance and action stitched together. On music front, Rehman disappointed me. Except 2 songs which I am sure will fed away from popular imagination in 3-4 months, rest songs are just ordinary and forgettable.
Next in my list of movies is one more movie shot in reverse chronological order i.e. 'Irreversible'. The dark movie with nerve wrecking scenes of a gruesome killing in the pub and 9 minute long terrible Rape scene shot in a subway, evokes extreme reactions in viewer. It reminded me of Bandit Queen, another disturbing movie. Many scenes here start with wide rotating camera in dimly lit background, triggering dizziness in your head and strain on your eyes. But the film does not loose its intensity till end and grip on viewer's attention. And the end is a pleasure for eyes with full display of perfectly carved out Monica Belucci in her most natural form :p This reminds you that you are watching a french movie after all :)
The best movie which I have seen so far this year is Slumdog Millionaire. I think it deserves a separate post. So bye for now. Will write more on tomorrow. Goodnite...

Monday, January 5, 2009

Happy New 2009

"Hey what did u do on 31st ?"
As I had anticipated, this was how I had first conversations in the year 2009 with many of my batch mates in college. And my response to this question was equally boring….It was ‘Nothing..I was sitting at home with family members and watching awful TV programmes’. But to my surprise many of my friends also had a similar experience. With friends not around you in your native place and family members clinging to you because of your short stay with them during vacations, I realised this has to be the most likely thing to do for many of us. Anyways, I started my new year in transition as I undertook my journey back to Delhi from Aurangabad on 1st Jan. The next day, I arrived in Delhi 3 hrs late which is not a big deal for Indian railways in these foggy winter days.…or any days for that matter. When I landed in Delhi, I realised that it had turned into almost a hill station. The weather was cheating with the clock. Even at 4 pm in my watch, the weather was of 8 am. After 2 days more, I realised that its going to be the same throughout the rest of winter. Finally, the most hyped and feared’ Dilli ki sardi’ like many other things about this city, has set in the Capital and I am clearly overwhelmed by it. Doing routine activities like taking bath, which was never a routine thing for me, have become courageous acts :) Like most other people on streets, I am too wearing my cap and wrapped in my sweaters and jacketes all the time. At the night time when the mercury dips down further, sometimes you wake up with a sudden sensation of cold and numbness of your hands and feet. And your mind yearns for the warmth of someone :P