My Hostel life

Two years of MBA is the first time I have ever lived in a hostel. So far it has been a roller coaster ride for me. All of you may have heard about the usual clichés related to hostel life such as shared accommodations, common toilets, ragging of juniors, shouting, chaos, fights, boozing, playing computer games, watching movies, messy rooms, and thefts and last but not the least, the unpalatable food. But you can truly appreciate them only if you have stayed in a hostel. On top of that if you happen to be a student representative for hostel and canteen, who is called as RAC (Residential affairs Committee) member in my college, then you would definitely learn a lot. By making such a claim, I am betting on the fact that you are a modest and sane human being who is ready to accept his mistakes and keen to learn from them, although your decision of becoming a RAC member itself might be termed as an act of insanity. By the way the literary meaning of the full form of the acronym RAC (Residential Affairs Committee, repeated once again to increase word count of my post and pamper my ego) member does explain one of his unwritten and untold responsibility of at least protecting, if not promoting, the affairs of the residential students on the campus and not grudge against them like other numerous single souls staying in hostel. The acts of these single men of venturing out into the virtual worlds of Yahoo chat rooms in search of fairer sex are often criticised as the manifestation of hunger for lust, but I would term it to be a side effect of nature’s curse of doping youngsters with high levels of testosterones. Anyways, the day I was asked to be a RAC member, I wondered what must have prompted my fellow hostel mates to do that. I am not a person who likes to linger in a fool’s paradise for long, hence I could quickly find out that apart from my affection towards alcohol (which was officially recognized by college authorities with a fine of 1000 rupees during the very first week of my hostel stay), I am not a very gregarious and extrovert person who has the persona of Sylvester Stallone of Rocky I, II, III, IV to punch hard blows and make the unyielding college authorities and shrewd mess manager to accept innovative and never ending, but often unjustifiable, demands of the students . But the simple truth of the matter was that there was no one else ready to be a scapegoat. I know the phrase ’to be a doormat’ from my undergrad study days, but I could realise its true meaning after being elevated (as in chane ke ped pe chadhana) to the post of RAC. So if someone’s fan stops fanning him in the middle of the night, I should expect a knock on my door. And if the washing machine is not working (thanks to some moron who stuffed it with all he was having including a leather belt, 4 coins of five rupees, a pack of condom and a pair of sport shoes along with the usual shirt and pant, before moving to the adjacent bathroom to take shower), expect another knock. If that is not sufficient, someone obsessed with cleanliness (perfectly suitable to be placed with the sanitation dept of NDMC) would come cribbing about his room being not cleaned properly. And there are many such maniacs obsessed with different things but yet staying in bonhomie in a boiling pot of multi lingual and multi cultural students called hostel. An ablutomaniac demands 24 hours hot water supply so that he can purify his entire body after wanking at multiple times during a day in winter. And there are dipsomaniacs who want consumption of alcohol within the campus to be made legal. And there are hydromaniacs who want water coolers to be installed on each floor. And there are insomniacs who want to wonder in the woods of Sanjay Van after midnight when the main gate is closed. And there are melomaniacs who play incomprehensible hard rock music at the deafening decibel levels to end up clashing with silensomaniacs (now that’s my addition to English language) at unearthly hours during night time.

Although Maslow’s theory of Hierarchical needs has been contested many times and the ancient Hindu spirituality advises to skip indulgence in the basic needs of food, water and shelter to pursue the higher goals of self actualisation and moksha, you won’t find anyone following this advice in the materialistic 21^st century. At least not in the hostel of a B school. In fact the very purpose of seeking admission into a B school is to get keys to open the doors of a treasure of wealth and excesses which should last you forever. So the students staying in the hostel are keen to satiate their basic needs in best possible way (which is different for everyone), most important of it being food. But a hostel mess runs as a zero sum game where a Punjabi can enjoy his parathas and paneer tikkas by depriving a Mallu of having idli and dosa. Hence the RAC members are always chasing an elusive dream of coming up with a menu that can satisfy all the students. They sit together and break their heads over all possible permutations and combinations of food items to create an ideal menu, only to realise later that it is more or less same as the previous one. They are supposed to play the role of a mediator in a game which I would call ‘who blinks first’. The students pissed off with the pathetic food refuse paying the mess fee and the mess manager is reluctant to improve without receiving mess fees from the students. In such deadlocks, RAC experiences an ordeal similar to that of a middle level manager.

As they say every dog has its day (har kuttte ka din aata hai ), the RAC also gets his chance of acting to be pricey when the second year room allotment is to be done. But in spite of allotting a smaller room with no box-in-built beds to himself, he is accused of playing favouritism. In between, he is summoned by college authorities to curb the menace of smoking in the campus where he reverses the argument on its head to lobby for a dedicated smoking zone for the so called adult and mature residents of the hostel and attracts wrath of hostel warden.

In hostel, birthdays are to be less enjoyed and more feared. Boys celebrate the birthday of their friends by kicking his ass without mercy till they get tired and pouncing on the cake to grab as much of its share as possible. The birthday boy would consider himself lucky if he even gets to know the taste of it. The interesting part is that the same guys would not hesitate from sharing their parathas, chips, biscuits, cold drinks and what not with each other on all other times.

The hostel life teaches you to be social, share everything with your friends and a sense of privacy is a rarity. So you decide to have a clandestine booze party with your close friends in the hostel to avoid the eye of college authorities and the next day you find everyone talking about your groovy footloose dance in the verandas after every man in the party turned into a superman on the high spirits.

But don’t get discouraged if you are planning to move to hostel anytime. The hostel life has its brighter side too. Sometimes you suffer from the panic attack before the exam and within one hour your room mate teaches you all the essential stuff to sail through the paper. You just screwed your interview with a dream company today and tonight you booze with your neighbour in the hostel to wash away the sorrows of the day. On a chilly winter morning, you enjoy sitting with friends in the sunshine in front of your room and blabber about anything from US Foreign policy to the difference between a bail and sand (ox and bull). You enjoy watching hi quality video movies in the free time thanks to your friend who downloads it for you. At the end of every trimester, when your ass is on the fire, you sit through the nights in the hostel and finish your group assignments and presentations in the company of your friends. You go out with them to explore all the food delicacies which Delhi has to offer. You make real close friends who know you inside out, whom you can trust blindly and whom you expect to help you any time in future. As only 45 days of my MBA are left now, I want to make the most of it. Create as many memories of my hostel life as possible so that I can cherish them for the rest of my life.

Personality types found in B school

A typical so called decent MBA college in India is an eclectic collection of people from all parts of India. There are few international participants also garnishing the platter on sides. Such a diverse collection of students not only differ in terms of their preferences about food, drinks, clothes, languages and festivals, they also have quite distinct personalities and attitude towards studies and extra curricular activities. Here are some prominent personality types which I have seen in my institute. This psychographic classification is based on my random observations, has no correlation with the regional origins of students and is definitely not exhaustive. I am making my little contribution to the already vast collection of blogs, books and magazine articles which talk about MBA students at lengths. So here I go…

•Grade hungry crammers: These are people who are obsessed about grades. Although I totally agree that grades are important and good grades never hurt anyone, this bunch of people takes it to altogether different level. You will find these bookworms talking about studies all the time. Some of them try to show it off to impress others. But they are stumped when faced with questions out of the textbooks. Their face is an indication of their current CGPA. They get depressed even if they score low in a tiny winy quiz. Rather than gaining knowledge their purpose of studying and working on projects is to get high grades. They will make sure that they do not pursue those kinds of studies which do not carry any marks for a particular subject. They are most compatible with selfish slaves.

•Selfish slaves: In medieval times, slavery was thrust upon helpless victims who were paying for the debts of their parents. However in modern 21st century, cunning selfish souls submissively volunteer themselves to engage in flattery of their masters to fulfil their different academic and non academic pursuits in an MBA institution. Most of them lack their own independent existence and are seen as shadows accompanying their masters. Some of them are shrewd enough to solicit different masters at varying points of time to be in the company of best one. However, I feel that such a person ends up fulfilling his/her short term goals at the cost of long term goals. One day destiny will force them to stand on their own feet and they will collapse if their feet are infirm.

•Intellectual dumb asses: Some people tend to overestimate the grey matter in their heads. They tend to think of themselves as the highly intellectual people who know anything and everything on the earth. For them MBA gyan is something obvious and does not pose any challenge to their intellect. They love to flaunt about whatever little they know. For them ignorance is definitely not a bliss and they have honed the skills of maintaining deceptive appearances to perfection. They are always looking for peopel who will pamper their egoes. The initial part of the oxymoronic term used to describe such people is their public self and the later part is their private self. In reality they are the empty vessels which make the most noise.

•Cynical cribbers: These people are the quintessential roadblocks in any work. They love to crib, doubt, critique and protest. They won’t take any initiative and will not contribute in any work. They will always stand on the sidelines and pass cynical and discouraging remarks. They firmly believe that there is always scope for improvement. For them, everything around them is either useless, flawed or irrelavent. However they won’t do anything to improve it and when challenged to do so, they would provide all sorts of lame excuses and shy away from the task. I doubt even if they are suitable for the job of Corporate Cassandras in companies.

•Indifferent Aliens: Looking at some people I always wonder why are they doing MBA. Neither they are aware nor do they care about academic and other activities on the campus. Grades obviously do not matter to them. Hence threats of sub grading do not force them to attend the classes. They believe that fortune favours the brave and hence challenge their fate by sitting for whatever classes they attend without any preparation. They are total free riders when it comes to group work. They want to follow the path of least resistance and will opt for all the easy go electives. However unlike cynical cribbers, they are the harmless creatures who will not critique others.

Disclaimer: I am certainly not the best student of my MBA institute in anyway. This post is not written to preach anything. I do not intend to offend anyone by this post. It is written in lighter vein and please take it in the right spirit.

Cribbing all the way

Ohh..its been so long since I have blogged..The thought of blogging crossed my mind so many times in last one month. But I did not get motivated enough to start translating my thoughts into the words of a blog post. Or did I find my thoughts not worthy enough to be posted here. Were they just crappy feelings popping up randomly? Life has become kind of dull and stagnant. It has become similar to the chicken trend in the share market where the stocks are neither rising nor crashing down. The same boring college stuff keeps on happening randomly. After three trimesters of first year, hardly anything excites me in academic life. It’s the ‘been there and done that’ feeling that has fully occupied mind space. If I try to infuse some enthusiasm into my lethargic mind, the hormones of cynicism flush out the fluids of ecstasy in a jiffy. A feeling of void and lack of purpose has been building for some time. It’s been almost 2 and half months since my fourth trimester has begun and the water stagnated in the pond has now started stinking. The obnoxious smell has now spread to such an extent that my numb nasal sensations have to take notice of that. The ultimate optimistic side of me keeps on telling me that this too will pass and one day I will do great in my life. But am I becoming complacent with theses feelings? I don’t know. My mind just keeps on drifting anywhere and everywhere.
I need to seriously shake up myself! Well before the placement season kicks off. I need to study well, even if my fourth semester marks no longer affect placement. Do I need a break? Or am I enjoying break for so long that I need to get back to working? Shall I start praying to the God when I doubt his existence itself? Do I need a pedantic, regimented life style? But will it account for randomness in an MBA student’s life? I am confused.
But one thing which I am quite sure about me is that I need to stop cribbing so much. Hopefully this is my last blog post about cribbing, at least till my course gets over .Wish me good luck guys!

MBA so far

I am almost through half of my MBA course as my third trimester is coming to an end. From last few days one thought has been haunting me like never before. I don't know how to express it most effectively. Anyways, here it is ..
When I came here to do MBA, I was expecting that I would experience a tiring and thoroughly satisfying Intellectual Orgasm in doing this course. However I have realised that forget about the orgasm, I am not even feeling the erection out of it ! The global meltdown and bleak, uncertain future frustrates me more. And when I think about it, I could blame myself more than anything else for this state of affairs !
Earlier I had heard many stories of MBA students slogging day and night in their libraries and hostel rooms finishing assignments and working on presentations. But my own experience has been quite contradictory. Here I am keeping my self busy by indulging in many activities apart from/other than study.
My laptop has become my sweetheart here and like a mother of a new born baby I cant keep it away from myself for long time. I almost feel like crying if it stops working. But what am I doing on my laptop?? Here is the laundry list..
The top most item on the list is Music. My laptop has helped me to transform my interest in music into a passion. Thanks to 24X7 wi-fi net access, I am downloading all kinds of songs from bhoole bisare geet of binaka geetmala days to current English chart busters.
Next comes Films. Although I was never a movie buff and I still watch less movies compared to my friends over here, its relatively quite high compared to my earlier life.
Although my real life socializing has declined significantly after coming to Delhi, it has been more than compensated by my virtual life socialising.Be it Gtalk, Yahoo msngr or orkut. They never let me feel lonely and I spend many hours chatting.
Last but not the least is my newly found addiction. It has overtaken me completely. Its the high I get out of blogging. Defying candid opinions of my friends about my blog being mediocre and boring, I keep on posting my entries. Try to attract eyeballs by adding pics and other gadgets and attempt to accidentally direct someone to my blog site by promoting it through unsolicited mails, status msgs etc. But can you really blame a guy who is inebriated due to addiction. However I am sure than I am not the only one hooked onto blogging. there are thousands others like me in this virtual world.
And what about reading online newspapers, journals, tracking sensex, preparing reports and ppts? Well those are the activities for the stereotype MBA students. Mavericks and rebels like me don't indulge myself in those morbid and mundane activities. I always rely on my self proclaimed high productivity, my extraordinary and time tested Jugaad skills and natural ability to do nonstop bakar.
Now lets return back to the real world.
Alec smart once said that most of the innovations in this world have been made by intelligent and lazy people . On this basis, I think of myself as an innovative person. However, my friends turned critics don't agree with me completely. They are not sure whether I possess the first attribute but are quite sure about the second one. They corroborate it by saying that I am a dirty bump owing to my seldom washed clothed, my bathing on alternate days and once in a week shaving schedule. But they fail to understand that I am making a style statement here. That I am a rough, rustic and austere guy. I am saving water and electricity by bathing less frequently. Besides washing clothes several times make them look old and leads to colour fading. Now some people compare my room to a garbage dump yard as my clothes and books are spread all over the place. My cup board and drawers are over flowing and the newspapers are lying all over (although I rarely read them). But such a random, non regimented and flexible system is more stable, convenient for user and keeps everything at same accessibility.
That's all for tonight. I have had enough of blogging for the day. Its 1:30am and I have to start reading for 2 quizzes on 2moro. Wish me good luck. Byeee :)